BATESY

COMMENTS:
 
After bringing up his son (The Jew) and finally setting him free into the cruel world of senior football, G-Funk decided that after years of watching him, he'd have a go at playing himself. At 1st this seemed like a scheme to drum up custom for his shop, which is just a few doors down from the clubs headquarters, but how very wrong we were. Arguably the most dedicated trainer at the club, always looking to strengthen his game, and he refuses to give Tom an inch on his challenging runs, much to the club captains annoyance. In his 1st season, G-Funk took any minutes on the pitch wherever he could before eventually developing into a full back. After improving his throw ins, G-Funk has gone from strength to strength in this position. Great stamina, brave, looks to get beyond his winger and it wouldn't be a proper game without G-Funk winding up the opposition.
 
It's a shame work commitments have got in the way of G-Funks football, but he's guaranteed to be there every training session and every couple of Saturdays after his good luck bowl of porridge. He occasionally has a quick pint at the Hotel before shooting off to his shop duties on a Saturday Night. Hopefully we'll get him drinking more often, maybe even tour, as he proved to be a revelation on his recent night out in Cardiff celebrating The Jews 18th.
 
TEAM MATES:
 
Best Trainer: Tom
Worst Trainer: Turkey always turning up late and no effect
Most Intelligent: Gilky, his match selection spot on this season lol. Nah, Hughsey
Least Intelligent: Dangerous
Best Dressed: Not too sure but Stocky
Worst Dressed: Dangerous
Best Tweeter: Gilky
Worst Tweeter: The Jew from what I heard
Best Banter: Just love the way The Wall uses his vocab
Worst Banter: Darian, never understand what he says
Hardman: Pontypoos getting a bit of a Big R fighting everyone but got to be Uncle Bryn, strong and physical player
Fastest: New Dan
Slowest: Well only a choice of 2, Gilky and Pindick Junior. Pindick Junior it is
Best Barnet: Jordan
Worst Barnet: Bear Lump, didn't know the army recruitment style was still in fashion
Longest In The Shower: Never looked but go with the players favourite Dangerous